An Open Letter to…’Hocus Pocus’

ZOMG GUYS it’s almost Halloween!! You know what that means, binge watching the greatest Halloween movie of all time: HOCUS POCUS! AND Hocus Pocus just celebrated it’s 20th anniversary! How freaking cool is that?? Now I feel old…anyway in typical open letter fashion, I’m writing a letter of lurve to my personal favorite spooky Halloween classic, Hocus Pocus!

Dear Hocus Pocus,

GAH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Okay, I’ll calm down now. Confession time HoPo: you scared the crap out of me as a child. I wasn’t allowed to watch you for a while too because you are in fact rated PG and my parents took those ratings a little too seriously when I was kid (I WAS SO SHELTERED UGH). I have to admit though that I truly didn’t even want to watch you if my parents had let me because you really scared me. The beginning of the film is pretty creepy at first (but then eventually gets AWESOME). From a child’s perspective, lighting a black flame candle that brings back a bunch of scary witches who want to eat children is PRETTY frightening so, cut baby Fray a little slack. Now that I’m an adult and have become a slave to you HoPo, you are anything but scary. You are my favorite Halloween movie of all time and I’m FURIOUS that you’re not constantly played 24 hours a day, every day of the month of October but, I can get over that I GUESS. ABC Family needs to wise up and realize that 13 Days of Halloween just isn’t enough Hocus Pocus (or Halloween content in general) for us diehard fans! Let’s just go ahead and extend it to 31 Days of Halloween and enjoy the treasure that is Hocus Pocus uh … I mean Halloween, for the whole month. MORE NOW PLS.

I think I love you so much Hocus Pocus not only because you once were forbidden fruit (THANKS MOM AND DAD), but also because you’re the perfect combination of humor, drama, and scary. I can’t think of another Halloween themed film that has that same combination and is so widely loved. And I DON’T WANT TO YOU ARE MY ONE AND ONLY HOCUS POCUS. Seriously though, you begin kinda creepy (again, child-eating witches show up after some random kid lights a candle, SCARY STUFF YA’LL) and segue to dramatic with some humor peppered in, then you get supes fun and crazy with the musical number but also still kind of scary since Max and Dani’s parents won’t believe them about the witches like actually putting a spell on you WAKE UP MADONNA AND DRACULA GEEZ. This of course is followed by what we think is the witches death but SURPRISE, nope they are def still alive and then Sarah Jessica Parker sings the creepiest song of all time. Then the witches have a FIGHT TO THE DEATH with Max, Dani, & Allison and Winnie turns to stone and the other sisters explode and BINX DIES AHHH and then his human ghost kisses Dani on the cheek and he’s reunited with ghost Emily and WE CRY FOREVER UGH. Greatest Halloween movie plot ever, basically.

I’m so happy that I realized as an adult HoPo that you are (IN MY HUMBLE OPINION) the greatest Halloween movie of all time (Nightmare Before Christmas is a close second) and ignored the qualms I had as a young lass because you are everything I love about Halloween plus so much more. You remind me of all the great times I had as a kid on Halloween and make me feel so happy when I watch you; even after all this time! NEVER CHANGE Hocus Pocus because without you, Halloween just wouldn’t be the same!

I will continue to RUN AMUCK singing your praises year after year, Hocus Pocus!

The honorary 4th Sanderson Sister,

Fraisia W. Logan

@fRaisin

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