Awards season is officially in full swing! As we gear up for the always highly anticipated 2014 Academy Awards, I’ve written my Open Letter this week to my favorite actress who isn’t afraid to act like a goofball, talk about how much food she can eat, or take a shot of tequila post Oscar win, Jennifer Lawrence!
Can I call you Jlaw? I’m gonna call you JLaw. I know you love it when people who don’t know you give you nicknames. First question, why are you so perfect? Is it your blatant dislike for dieting or maybe your sacred love of Dumb and Dumber? I’m not sure, but all I know is that you are the future BFF of every person on this planet. The world loves you, Jlaw. You are the best face contortionist I’ve ever seen and the fact that your one true love is pizza makes you about a thousand times more awesome. As if that were possible! Even your cat loves you incessantly. Okay, maybe the fact that it pees on your bed when you’re not home is not entirely an act of love, but it’s an act of something which is most likely LOVE. NO ONE CAN HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A PERFECT SPECIMEN, JLAW.
My favorite moment of yours is when you showed up to the 2013 Oscars completely ravenous and proceeded to ask every interviewer you encountered where the food was. I LOVE FOOD TOO, JLAW. We are clearly a match made in perfect BFF heaven. It’s so nice that you appreciate the finer things in life: beer, fries, and cats. You clearly know how to party and that is a very important skill to possess.
You were great in Silver Linings Playbook (seriously, AH-MAH-ZING), The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, and American Hustle, but I think you truly shined your brightest on that one episode of Monk where you played the mascot (don’t know what I’m referencing? Look it up and enjoy). Only an Oscar winner can show that kind of enthusiasm and spirit in an animal costume. You are such a chameleon! You can perform any role thrown at you with style and grace and then down a brewski and burger without batting an eye. Let’s get married! Ha ha ha just kidding! (Unless you are totally cool with it in which case YES ABSOLUTELY IMMEDIATELY I WILL MARRY YOU.)
Keep telling the world “SCREW YOU GUYS AND YOUR SOCIAL EXPECTATIONS!” and I will continue to love you. Forever.
Your TRUE future BFF,
Fraisia W. Logan