Did We Just Become Best Friends?! – Top 20 ‘Step Brothers’ Quotes |

Since Valentine’s Day just passed and not quite everyone enjoys the holiday, I thought that maybe we could all use a pick me up this week. And with The Lego Movie, starring Will Ferrell, continually breaking box office records since it’s release, I thought it’d be a good time to post my top 20 Step Brothers quotes!

1. “That’s cute. I remember when I had my first beer.”

2. “This is going to sound weird, but for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.”

3. “And here’s the thing, it would give us so much extra space in our room to do activities!”

4. “IT’S THE FUCKING CATALINA WINE MIXER.”

5. Brennan: “THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING PRISON!” Dale: “ON PLANET BULLSHIT!” Brennan: “IN THE GALAXY OF THIS SUCKS CAMEL DICKS!”

6. “Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I’m looking good. I got a luscious ‘V’ of hair going from my chest pubes to my ball fro. And she takes one look at me and she goes, ‘Oh my God, I’ve had the old bull, now I want the young calf.’ and she grabs me by the wiener-”

7. Brennan: “I’m not gonna call him Dad.” Nancy: “Brennan, you’re 39 years old, I would not expect you to call him Dad.” Brennan: “Well, I’m not going to. EVER. Even if there’s a fire!”

8. “Hey Derek, sprechen sie dick!”

9. Nancy: “Today I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon. You yelled ‘rape’ at the top of your lungs.”

10. “Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes and at one point he said, ‘Let’s get it on!’.”

11. Dale: “Why are you so sweaty?” Brennan: “I was watching Cops.”

12. “Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. Brennan, I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.”

13. Dale: “You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.” Brennan: “You’re not a doctor. You’re a big fat curly headed FUCK.”

14. Derek: “Listen gang, don’t be mad at Dale for ruining the story, and possibly the evening.”

15. Brennan: “But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call ‘Derek’, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.”

16. Brennan: “I swear, I’m so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she is of age, I’m putting her in a home.”

17. “You know, I don’t know, I just, I didn’t want to sing too loud ‘cause I don’t want to wake up Robert and Nancy. My throat’s sore, I’ve had a sore throat for a month and a half and this is not an acoustic environment that’s suitable to request this from me.”